


Inside

by monkiainen



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Crying, Death Wish, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Insults, Not Canon Compliant, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:55:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23802706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monkiainen/pseuds/monkiainen
Summary: Armitage has trouble to adjusting in life after the war.
Relationships: Armitage Hux & Ben Solo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7
Collections: May the 4th Be With You Star Wars Fanworks Exchange 2020





	Inside

**Author's Note:**

  * For [inquisitor_tohru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inquisitor_tohru/gifts).



This was not how it was supposed to turn out.

Armitage Hux, former General of the First Order, was now… a commoner? A fugitive? He was definitely **not** ruling the galaxy like he had planned to do. Who would have known that Armitage's great plan of telling the Resistance some Order secrets to making sure that Kylo Ren wouldn't rule galaxy would actually lead to that very thing?

Because apparently the former rebels were idiots and believed in Kylo's, no, _Ben's_ tales of being a new person and all that shit. And because Ben the Saviour was the son of the infamous _(now deceased)_ General Leia Organa and Han Solo _(also deceased, because Ben had killed him)_ he was naturally appointed as the leader of the free galaxy. 

It might also have something to do with the fact that Ben was fucking royalty, and the bitch had never cared to mention it to Armitage. Seriously? If your mother was the princess of Alderaan and your grandmother had been the queen of Naboo, that's already two planets you are entitled to rule. Well, only one since Ben's own grandfather was kind enough to blow up Alderaan. But still.

How was this his life, Armitage wondered for the umpteenth time since the end of the war. And why wasn't he even given the honour of being executed for his crimes during the war? General Armitage Hux, the Planetkiller, was treated like… someone normal, and that wouldn't do. At least the traitor's… girlfriend, or whatever she was, treated Armitage with appropriate hate and disgust. Only if the rest of the former rebels would get the memo that Armitage was a War Criminal, but no. The blasted pilot was the worst.

Ben couldn't care less what Armitage was trying to tell him, because Ben was smitten over the scavenger girl. The scavenger girl? Really?

Then again, the said scavenger girl was the granddaughter of Emperor Palpatine so maybe there was some hope to be had. If only Armitage could talk sense to Rey, to make her realise her full potential… but Rey only had eyes for Ben. Figures.

So Armitage did what he could, which was mainly to piss off everyone on the base. And still, none of them wanted to duel to the death, and give Armitage the outcome he was looking for.

"Why are you being suicidal?"

Of course. And now Ben wanted to talk when Armitage couldn't care less.

"I'm not suicidal. I'm merely disagreeing with the way the former Rebels are treating their prisoners of war", Armitage finally said when Ben made it clear he wasn't going to go anywhere before he got an answer.

"So, you think we are being cowards for not executing you? Is that what you're really saying?", Ben asked after a while.

"We both know you can read my mind whenever you want to, regardless of having my permission or not, so stop pretending you can't. You were more fun when you were Kylo Ren."

Ben didn't say anything, just walked away. What was with all this passive-aggressive behaviour? Why couldn't Ben just be like he had been and pick Armitage's thoughts and feelings unprompted from his mind? It would be so much easier for everyone.

"What did you say to Ben, you bastard!"

The scavenger girl had the nerve to demand answers from Armitage? Really? And to make matters worse she used the one insult that hurt the most.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Armitage quipped and turned his back to Rey. Maybe if he played his cards right, it would upset Rey enough to plunge her light-whatever through Armitage and he would be free from all of this.

"I don't think so. You are not going to get the easy way out, even if it is what you're clearly seeking", Rey spoke calmly, as if speaking to a wounded animal.

Oh how close to the truth the metaphor was. Because Armitage was an animal, a beast, a creature not worth having a normal life. Heck, Armitage didn't even know what normal life was, let alone how to live it. Brendol had made sure of that. So what if Armitage sometimes dreamed about his mother, but couldn't remember her face? Or if he had never wanted the life he was forced to live? None of it mattered because the fact remained that Armitage was a killer, a murderer. He had committed a bloody genocide, and there was nothing he could do to reach atonement.

So why wouldn't the New _New_ Republic do the right thing and publicly execute Armitage, to give peace of mind to those who had lost their loved ones because of Armitage?

Because they were cowards, that's why.

"No, we're not. We believe that everyone has a little bit of good inside them, even if it's sometimes hard to see. Look at Ben, look where he is now after everyone thought he was a lost cause?" Rey tried to reason with Armitage.

No. No, that wasn't right. There was nothing _good_ in Armitage, never had been and never would be. Goodness was a weakness, showing your emotions made you a coward. Brendol had taught Armitage those lessons over and over again, making sure that all the nonsense Armitage's mother had taught him was erased for good. Because his mother had been nothing, and Brendol had been powerful, so it was better to be like Brendol.

Why was his face wet?

Oh… he was crying. No, it was not possible. Armitage never cried because tears were a sign of weakness. And he was not weak.

His world was turned upside down and Armitage didn't know how to deal with it. Who was he? What was his purpose? Why couldn't people just leave him be? He was nothing, he was useless. He shouldn't be allowed to live.

Someone was there, holding him, telling him that everything was going to be alright. Yes, it would be alright after Armitage was punished. Then people could start their new lives, without the notorious Starkiller looming behind them.

"Shh, I've got you. It's going to be okay, I promise. I need you to trust me on this, okay? Can you do that for me?"

When the hell had Ben returned? And why was Ben talking to him like that… like he really cared? But it was a lie, everything was a lie, no one had ever cared for Armitage so why would anyone start doing so now? It didn't make any sense.

"Because you're important. Because I need you, because you're the only one here who understands what I've been through – what _we've_ been through with Snoke. So no, you don't get to die, Armitage, because you are needed", Ben spoke passionately, tears glittering in his eyes.

Since when was Ben crying for _anyone_ , let alone for Armitage?

It was confusing, too confusing. Armitage couldn't remember the last time anyone had cried for him. Has anyone ever cried for him? Probably not. It was… oddly comforting. Someone actually cared for him, not just for what Armitage could do, but for _who_ he was. His own person, and not just another nameless Order general.

Together they let their tears fall. Maybe tomorrow would be a better day.


End file.
